How to Silence Your Inner Critic

 You know that feeling when you're doing really well and then a little voice comes in and says

*it wont last*

Maybe your relationship is on fire, or you're out-performing expectations at work, you've just started a new venture. It's somewhere that you've gone out on a limb-- and that takes something. That takes audacity, courage. It takes guts.

For me, it's come up in my teaching yoga. I nailed a teaching gig at an amazing hot yoga studio, something that I wasn't expecting to see in fruition for a few more months. I was getting ready to go teach my first class in this studio, and I was telling a friend,

"I have a rockin' resume from trainings, but I don't have the experience. I'm scared that they're going to see that I'm not that great"

Oh wait, in reality, I've been teaching for 5 years, I've had wild success with bringing yoga to athletes in a studio that previously didn't offer it, and the 400 hours of training that I've done in the last 2 years, that's been a massive support. But what those trainings really taught me is that everything I needed was right there, I just needed to drop the self doubt, cynicism, and inner critic in order to access that power.

My second class comes around. I had a similar conversation,

"I had a really great first class, but what if I can't do it again!"

How fast that self doubt comes out! That inner critic is the ego, and it does a fantastic job at shadowing over the successes putting the magnifying glass over our perceived "screw-ups". And do you notice how sometimes those screw-ups don't even exist? But that won't stop your mind from focusing on the what if-madness mentality.

What I want to make clear is the difference between you and your thoughts. That's right, completely separate. You are not your thoughts, not your experiences, and not your story. The faster we can get that, the more clear the road to inner freedom becomes. Imagine a world where you didn't think about all that could possibly go wrong before making a big decision. Imagine feeling this great sense of trust roll over you as you open yourself up to what could go really well right now.

I get glimpses of this in my work; that deep innate trust and surrender to the moment. And I'm human, so I also get the inner critic that rears it's ugly head. The practice is focusing on what's good.

The reality is that both "good" and "bad" things will still happen in your life, but you're no longer magnifying what's wrong, and you start looking for what is going so righteously freaking right!

The Practice

Get out a blank sheet of paper. Pick a situation in your life where you're experiencing resistance of any kind (resistance shows up as anxiety, fear, stress, worry, etc.). Give the situation a title, write it down. For example; Fear of Failure in Teaching

Write down all the reason's that this situation is "wrong" 
(warning: we're going below the line, but don't worry- we'll come back up). 
Why aren't you the right person for the job, what will people wise up to and realize about you, why is failure imminent, what could possibly go wrong? Tap into the inner critic, get really specific and get all of this down on paper. Don't filter anything out, get raw, get real, no matter how ridiculous is sounds. Fill an entire page if you can. Example; I'm not qualified, I can't do handstand like the other teachers, my uncle told me this isn't even a real career, my thighs are too big for these yoga pants

Put down the pen. Breath. Step back, and look and what you've written.  

Cross out all of the reasons that seem too ridiculous to be real. If something hasn't stood in your way up until this point, cross it out.

Now, if you weren't concerned about looking good/doing it right/not failing, what else could you cross out as reasons that aren't real. Get really straight up with yourself. There's no blame or judgement in this, just seeing clearly so we can move forward.

If you weren't concerned about what other people will say/think/do, cross out the reasons that no longer limit you. 

Circle the things you're willing to work on that would greatly improve your confidence in this area. Because the truth is, we often have work to do. And once we're clear on what we need to work on, that inner trust and confidence comes in and says, "ok, I am committed to X so in order to be best in the world at X, I'm going to work on Y to support this".

What you're left with is a lot of crazy concerns, crossed out. The real work is circled. Now, you can focus your attention and energy on the work that you've circled that will actually make an impact. Up until now, you've spent valuable energy worrying about these false reasons, now you longer have to do it. 

You've empowered your progress by getting real and shining a bright light of that inner critic and you watch it disappear as the truth gets revealed!


Keep in mind, this work is practice. And just because you dispel the ego once, doesn't mean you won't have to do it again. It does, however, make you really great at distinguishing the thoughts that are worth your time. Remember, where attention goes, energy flows. Focus on the good shit.

Apricot Bliss Bars + Following Your Bliss

I had a beautiful meeting with a friend, mentor, and coach of mine this past weekend- my experience through which inspired this post.

I consider myself to be an ambitious person. I think it's part of the human spirit to be in constant growth. The nature of my work keeps me in constant development with my team and myself. I'm always asking myself, what's next, how do I get there, and the big one, what is my purpose and my intention?

This roots me into my True North as a leader, a coach, and a teacher. My aim is to empower people to see the possibility in their lives, and to create action around their goals.

I got disconnected from this.

I got caught up in not feeling ready and not feeling good enough.

I forgot my fundamental goal- to see possibility and to empower myself.

I got inspired to get into action. Inspired to use my resources and start teaching. I had a reality check in my meeting- if you want to teach, you'll teach. You just do. No limitations by circumstance or beliefs that hold me back. That's the power of choice in every moment. If you want to do it, you will. You just start.

The next six weeks are going to be BIG! Here's what I'm up to:

• igolu Level One, which will span the next four months and involves creating my personal legacy moment to moment, setting my intention in the world and acting on that purpose 
• attending the igolu Road Show with Susanne Conrad to benefit imagine1day
• Level Two Training through Baptiste Yoga in Sedona, Arizona, my final training before I start the process of getting certified as a Baptiste Teacher
• 40 Days to Personal Revolution kicks off at my home studio- that's 40 days of yoga, twice daily meditation, mindful eating, and self work through journaling and reflection

boom.

I could not be more excited and nervous with what I'm up to. Goose bumps are always a good sign.

I think where many of us get stuck is figuring out which actions to take to propel us towards our highest goals and intentions.  
Here's the radical truth: you need to get related to your intention. Why do you do what you do? What calls you into action? What gets you up in the morning?

And make it your mission to do more of that. The good stuff, the juicy stuff. This is where you find your True North. All else falls into line and suddenly the decisions to make become easy; because you're being guided by knowledge far more powerful that your logical mind.

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Now onto these bars- because every ambitious bliss junkie needs fuel. And the right kind. The kind of fuel that makes you feel good and keeps you crushing goals for hours!

Apricot Bliss Bars Adapted from Sprouted Kitchen makes 12

apricot, lemon, oats

• 1.5 cups dried apricots 
• 1 cup boiling water
• 1/4 cup honey
• Juice and zest of 1 lemon
• 1.5 cups spelt or oat flour
• 1 cup almond flour
• 1/2 cup brown rice flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 cup almond milk
• 1/3 cup almond butter
• 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
• 1/3 cup rolled oats
• 6 Tbsp coconut sugar

method 

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a 9-inch square baking pan with parchment paper.

Place dried apricots in a bowl, pour boiling water over apricots, cover and let steep for at least 10 minutes. 

Meanwhile, combine spelt flour, almond flour, brown rice flour, baking powder, baking soda, and sea salt in medium bowl

In a separate bowl, add the almond milk, almond butter, 3 Tbsp coconut sugar, and vanilla extract. Whisk to combine fully. Add this to the flour mixture, stirring to combine fully.

Once apricots have softened, drain excess liquid, reserving it. Add the honey, lemon juice and zest to the apricots and use a hand blender to puree. Add some of the reserved liquid, a little at a time if needed to create a smooth jam like consistency.

Take half of the dough, press it into the lined baking sheet. Spread apricot mixture on top of this. Add rolled oats and remaining coconut sugar to the rest of the dough. Crumble the dough over the apricot mixture.

 Bake for 25 minutes. Remove and let cool completely. Use the parchment paper to remove the bars, then cut into 12 bars.