How to Silence Your Inner Critic

 You know that feeling when you're doing really well and then a little voice comes in and says

*it wont last*

Maybe your relationship is on fire, or you're out-performing expectations at work, you've just started a new venture. It's somewhere that you've gone out on a limb-- and that takes something. That takes audacity, courage. It takes guts.

For me, it's come up in my teaching yoga. I nailed a teaching gig at an amazing hot yoga studio, something that I wasn't expecting to see in fruition for a few more months. I was getting ready to go teach my first class in this studio, and I was telling a friend,

"I have a rockin' resume from trainings, but I don't have the experience. I'm scared that they're going to see that I'm not that great"

Oh wait, in reality, I've been teaching for 5 years, I've had wild success with bringing yoga to athletes in a studio that previously didn't offer it, and the 400 hours of training that I've done in the last 2 years, that's been a massive support. But what those trainings really taught me is that everything I needed was right there, I just needed to drop the self doubt, cynicism, and inner critic in order to access that power.

My second class comes around. I had a similar conversation,

"I had a really great first class, but what if I can't do it again!"

How fast that self doubt comes out! That inner critic is the ego, and it does a fantastic job at shadowing over the successes putting the magnifying glass over our perceived "screw-ups". And do you notice how sometimes those screw-ups don't even exist? But that won't stop your mind from focusing on the what if-madness mentality.

What I want to make clear is the difference between you and your thoughts. That's right, completely separate. You are not your thoughts, not your experiences, and not your story. The faster we can get that, the more clear the road to inner freedom becomes. Imagine a world where you didn't think about all that could possibly go wrong before making a big decision. Imagine feeling this great sense of trust roll over you as you open yourself up to what could go really well right now.

I get glimpses of this in my work; that deep innate trust and surrender to the moment. And I'm human, so I also get the inner critic that rears it's ugly head. The practice is focusing on what's good.

The reality is that both "good" and "bad" things will still happen in your life, but you're no longer magnifying what's wrong, and you start looking for what is going so righteously freaking right!

The Practice

Get out a blank sheet of paper. Pick a situation in your life where you're experiencing resistance of any kind (resistance shows up as anxiety, fear, stress, worry, etc.). Give the situation a title, write it down. For example; Fear of Failure in Teaching

Write down all the reason's that this situation is "wrong" 
(warning: we're going below the line, but don't worry- we'll come back up). 
Why aren't you the right person for the job, what will people wise up to and realize about you, why is failure imminent, what could possibly go wrong? Tap into the inner critic, get really specific and get all of this down on paper. Don't filter anything out, get raw, get real, no matter how ridiculous is sounds. Fill an entire page if you can. Example; I'm not qualified, I can't do handstand like the other teachers, my uncle told me this isn't even a real career, my thighs are too big for these yoga pants

Put down the pen. Breath. Step back, and look and what you've written.  

Cross out all of the reasons that seem too ridiculous to be real. If something hasn't stood in your way up until this point, cross it out.

Now, if you weren't concerned about looking good/doing it right/not failing, what else could you cross out as reasons that aren't real. Get really straight up with yourself. There's no blame or judgement in this, just seeing clearly so we can move forward.

If you weren't concerned about what other people will say/think/do, cross out the reasons that no longer limit you. 

Circle the things you're willing to work on that would greatly improve your confidence in this area. Because the truth is, we often have work to do. And once we're clear on what we need to work on, that inner trust and confidence comes in and says, "ok, I am committed to X so in order to be best in the world at X, I'm going to work on Y to support this".

What you're left with is a lot of crazy concerns, crossed out. The real work is circled. Now, you can focus your attention and energy on the work that you've circled that will actually make an impact. Up until now, you've spent valuable energy worrying about these false reasons, now you longer have to do it. 

You've empowered your progress by getting real and shining a bright light of that inner critic and you watch it disappear as the truth gets revealed!


Keep in mind, this work is practice. And just because you dispel the ego once, doesn't mean you won't have to do it again. It does, however, make you really great at distinguishing the thoughts that are worth your time. Remember, where attention goes, energy flows. Focus on the good shit.